"Socket of Abraham's Hope,"

The Socket of Abraham's Hope Emerges Victorious
Jack Abramoff: just another errand boy lawfully shot in the back by his
clients
by Jeff Koopersmith

Jack Abramoff, the mega-lobbyist
who carries a German name which literally translates "Socket of
Abraham's Hope," pled guilty today to conspiracy, fraud, and tax
evasion. 

The newspaper of record, The New York Times, thinks this "sets the
stage
for prosecutors to begin using him as a cooperating witness against his
former business and political colleagues"

I'm not too sure of that.

It would make more sense to me were Abramoff to agree to plead guilty
and deliver, at most, the names of a few people he wants to take
revenge
on rather than deliver the genuine weasels embedded in the depths of
Corporate, Federal and State officialdom. 

That the media is salivating -- even hyperventilating in anticipation
of
what I predict will be a disappointment -- is an understatement.

Let's stop for a moment and take a quick reality check.

First, Jack Abramoff -- just like a long line of slitherers before him
who have grossed big bucks trading influence and cash for both results
and more cash -- appears to be set for life, even five lifetimes if
rumors about his recompense are true.

Second, anyone who wears a fedora -- a fedora! -- in public is rat-like
enough to take his medicine and keep his mouth shut while on vacation
at
one of this nation's Club Feds featuring his favorite sport, whether it
be tennis or snooker.

Looking like Al Capone reincarnated this morning, Abramoff didn't
appear
all that disturbed about facing a decade in prison.  In fact, with good
behavior (especially toward Republican members) he might serve only a
couple of years -- enough to get back in shape and work on "that tan."

Mr. Abramoff has known, for a very long time, that his goose was cooked
-- and despite the behind-the-scenes, greatly-whispered-about
manipulation purportedly emanating from the offices of the Speaker of
the House's office, the Senate Majority Leader, and the House Majority
Leader (now facing the possibility of a stiff prison "vacation"
himself), Abramoff had plenty of time to collect (or squirrel away)
fifty or a hundred million dollars offshore, or under his lover's bed.

Whichever the case, I am not worried about Jack. He will survive.

The big-deal conspiracy charge to which Abramoff pled was only that he
influenced at least one member of Congress and a staff member.

Gee, I wonder who that could be?  One of two choices rhymes with
"toupee."

Anyone familiar with Abramoff (and I am) would have to bite the inside
of their cheeks to stop from laughing in court this morning when he
told
the judge:

"Your honor, words will not be able t o ever express how sorry I am for
this, and I have profound regret and sorrow for the multitude of
mistakes and harm I have caused. All of my remaining days, I will feel
tremendous sadness and regret for my conduct and for what I have done.
I
only hope that I can merit forgiveness from the Almighty and from those
I have wronged or caused to suffer. I will work hard to earn that
redemption."

The Almighty?  Was he referring to Dick Cheney?

Here's the 411 on Abramoff.  He took the profession "lobbyist" to new
heights of revulsion.  Like many newly wealthy men, particularly those
operating in the "district", Jack believed he was untouchable - not
because of  any talent he had, but because he served so well those men
and women who would do anything to keep their seats in Congress -- and
when I say anything, I do mean anything.

The basic rule regarding elected officials taking money and other bits and pieces from private interests is this: "Take anything you can get
--
as long as it doesn't overtly your constituents. Period."

In fact, the more the merrier -- because if an elected public official
does get caught, he or she needs the money to pay for lawyers and to
retire after leaving prison in the style to which they have become
habituated.  You know, time to write a juicy, tell-all,
settle-a-few-scores book.

The sad fact is that Abramoff didn't actively do anything more evil or
illegal than most lobbyists -- all 30,000 of them -- that buy up the
million-dollar-plus homes in the posh DC suburbs (at your expense, mind
you) as if they were hamburgers.

They will all deny it, every last one of these "legislative advocates"
who claim to be the next best thing to saints -- but the ugly truth is
that they are all, after a time, crooks.  Many are driven to it because
they are exposed to power and wealt h that drive them to the depths of
envy. Others are drawn to the "pay-to-play" atmosphere because elected
officials have become inured to being compensated for their votes.  Yet
others are just in it for kicks, and others -- such as Abramoff himself
-- are convinced that they are worth tens of millions of dollars each
year simply because they are brasher, dumber, and more adventurous and
eager to bend for it than others.

In the end, though, if Abramoff does not give up the real power (and
here's a hint: it's not Tom DeLay), he will lose nothing much more than
the time he spent in kindergarten.

You see, the real criminals are the people who pay Jack Abramoff and
his
peers.  He is merely the messenger, a bagman for some of this nation's
and this planet's most powerful men and women, whose allegiance is only
to the bottom line -- and not their stockholder's bottom line, but
their
own.

During the pas t twenty years we have been taught (brainwashed, really)
to believe that what's good for American business is fine for us.  It's
for this reason that we love to recount the stories about Dick Cheney
doing television commercials for a now defunct and indicated big-time
accounting firm. It's for this reason that we merely shrug when top
corporate executives get a slap on the wrist for cheating their
stockholders or their customers out of tens of billions of dollars. 

"It's only business," we parrot, "only business."

And don't be fooled for a minute when the right-wing media  -- which,
by
the way, is almost all of the media -- tries to pin the blame for much
of Abramoff's felonious activity on "those greedy Injuns."

It was not Native Americans that discovered they could grow rich from
gaming on the reservation; it was a lobbyist representing some of the
most twisted white businessmen in the gambling industr y that showed
them
how to get rich (while they, of course, got much richer).

So before you go and crucify Abramoff, you should be ready to spike the
socio-economic and political system we embrace today.  You might be
prepared to accept the fact that the few really do get rich on the
backs
of the majority and that even your local beloved Congressperson is
probably a felon because if he weren't he wouldn't get elected.

Jack Abramoff is only a symptom of the sick culture we have created, a
world which honors the thief and punishes the artist.  A fine example
of
this is conservative radio talk-show madam Laura Ingraham, a
charlatanette who bows to malevolent men like Richard Cheney and
concurrently mocks renowned poet Maya Angelou almost daily.

You can bet that Ms. Ingraham, who to my mind is a bought-and-paid-for
whore for the Neofascist right, will be on the air tomorrow defending
not only Abramoff but the system that created him. Why?  Because she
too
is a lobbyist -- a scantily paid one, but a lobbyist nonetheless, one
who tries to convince her rube listeners that robbing the poor to feed
some industrialists scheme with taxpayer cash is "the way to go."

Of course, I don't know for certain what Jack Abramoff is thinking.  It
is vaguely possible that he became fed up with doing bad for bad people
and simply decided -- with a little shove from the Justice Department
--
to come clean and hang the bastards.  His lawyer, Abbe Lowell, would be
devoted to us if we believe that, but only time will tell.

In the end, of course, it will be up to the Justice Department -- now
filled with many of the same Neocon clan that supports the Bush
Administration -- to prove the case against anyone Mr. Abramoff
fingers.

Will it? Will it go after the captains of industry who create the bag
men and women who pepp er the government with cash and more?

This will not be an easy task even if they do actually try to pursue
such a case or cases, and in fact it will be almost an impossible one
unless federal investigators have videotape and sound recordings of
elected officials taking money AND promising to vote or use their
influence on other members to vote in a particular manner in exchange
for it.

Otherwise, it's "his word against mine."

I can't tell you how many times I have stood in a room with a crooked
member of Congress, a sleazy senator, a governor, or a mayor and had to
listen to him or her tell the press for the umpteenth time that no one
owns his or her vote --  when I knew for a fact exactly who wrote the
checks (and for how much) that ended up in their bank accounts or
campaign coffers. Remember something very important: most members of
Congress are failed lawyers or failed something else.  They have
nowh ere
to go once they leave the Hill or the Statehouse.  They are vicious
when
their seats are threatened -- so vicious that you would cringe if you
were to see it.

Abramoff has also made a global deal with the Justice Department so
that
all the separate prosecutions he faces in Florida and Washington will
fall under the single sentence he receives for his plea bargain.

He must be relieved.  After all, it was more than fun while it lasted.
More than fun, I assure you.

My concern is what will happen to Mr. Abramoff's restaurant,
"Signatures" -- which I assume is an inside joke or a moniker mocking
the autographs of elected officials on legislation designed to enrich
themselves and their cronies. It was a fun place to hang out posing as
a
tourist.

Let me also remind my Democratic friends that they may not escape this
mêlée and that many of them may have also taken advantage of Abramoff's
clients -- perhaps not through him, but through a Democrat version of
him. 

We will wait and see.

But take this to the bank: it's not only Republicans that are going
without sleep tonight.

Watch for more information to come out -- and quickly. You will see
surprise resignations and secretive deal-making with other potential
targets of this investigation.  But in the end, the same people will
control the government -- and those people aren't liberal Democrats,
the
poor, the starving or the elderly sick.

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JEFF KOOPERSMITH is a political consultant, opinion research authority,
policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist."

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